Vacation from heartache.

My brother told me he had been sitting on a park bench for two hours because to put it shortly, he got ditched by his friends. I am not sure what hurts more, that he was sitting there for 2 hours because his friends were douches, or that he didn't call me to pick him up earlier.

I am not sure his thought process, never have, but I care about him so much and hurt for him. I know he gets bummed, and I know he is struggling, but he always shrugs it off. I can see he hurts and there is nothing I can do about it to help him. I feel this is how it is with most of my family right now. There is so much hurt and nothing I can do to take it away.

People say that just being there is enough, but when you see your brother trip over and over it makes you feel like you have scraped knees too. I can't imagine the emotions that come along with being a parent, but I know I will have a hard time watching my kids fall and knowing that it is part of life. How do I help, like truly help them feel better? Giving my brother money when he is broke doesn't work, listening to my mother vent doesn't solve the problem, spending time with my dad doesn't fix our relationship, and so on and so on.

Some say God is the one that fixes all. I have been having such a hard time when I see my family fall apart in front of my eyes. I am mad that I haven't gotten a break, a happy month or even week. I fall constantly and when I see my family fall in front of me, it makes me more angry. But I know things are meant to be, because he does everything for a reason, but I am hurt because I dont want my reason to be struggling for year after year. I am ready for a break, a vacation from heartache.