Not knots in my stomach...

Do you even get knots in your stomach? The ones that twist and twist and make you anxious? I am currently experiencing three or so, or maybe its one really big one that decided to grab hold of my entire intestines. Either way the feeling sucks and it doesn't let me sleep, which is even worse, because my job depends on getting enough sleep.

The feeling of not knowing I assume is what it is. I get so worried that I wont sleep that the knot gets huge and I end up not sleeping. If ANYBODY knows a remedy that doesn't include:



  ambien
  benadryl
  herbal pills that stimulates melatonin
  exercise
  hot milk
  or any of the others

PLEASE let me know. I thought one of the main drug-free choice that could help my anxiety was the Bible. I am in Genesis, starting from the beginning, and I am more anxious then before. Did you know Abraham was going to sacrifice AKA KILL his one son that he wanted for so many years? It says that we need to value God and the relationship so much that one would be able to surrender the things you value so much.

I broke down. My mother, is the one I value more then anyone, and anything. I swear that if God asked me to surrender her I wouldn't. My life is nothing without her. My life is also nothing without God, but my mom has been there to verbally share her wisdom with me when I had no one. I haven't heard God yet. I have seen his whispers through a song on the radio or something similar, but I haven't heard him say "I love you" or "you're my prized possession". I haven't gotten any of that in the Bible yet. I have just been reading how many dang kids Jacob has and how easy it is to give a daughter away to a man they barley know. I know faith is huge, but when I keep stumbling over dang boulders, its hard to see the light when I haven't read much that gives me faith to know that me, or women are precious diamonds to God.

Everyone around struggles I know. I dont know many people like Abraham that would give up their child. I want to have that relationship with God where I know he loves me no matter what and know that he is going to bless me in all ways possible. I am sure there will be a couple of downfalls where I cry and see his light. Hopefully in Exodus I will see a light or something, because right now the last thing I want is God, and the first thing I want is my mom.