Impossible to Fix

There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are. They aren't just like that because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it's impossible to fix them.

They say dont let the past define who you are. Bullshit. True french right out of my mouth 'connerie'. Dont let the past ruin you, I would say, defeat it. Let your past make you shine and help you get where you want to be.


If I hadn't been a messed up child with a messed up family, I wouldn't have the passion or drive to help messed up kids. If I hadn't of made blueberry muffins with my grandmother, I would have never learned how sweet they can be. If I didn't break up with my first love, I could be married to him, or could still wonder what if for the rest of my married life. The way the past happens, shapes us. It makes us who we are, who we hate, who we want to be and not be. 


People dont change. I have been stubborn from day one and even as a child have found ways to push people's buttons. Sending me to boarding school, wilderness and even being kicked out of my house has not fixed me. Of course I can control it and dont need to be a total porcupine and stab people with my pricks, but I will be able to push my future husband's buttons and he wont feel the need to replace me, or send me to an institution.


Bet you have heard how you can change the guy you are in the relationship with because you love them and they will eventually find the light. Nope. They are they way they are because he possibly had parents that were nut-bags and he is following in their footsteps, or had a great experience being single and doesn't want to commit. Either way a past experience, a past story, has made him the way he was, and trying to fix them or "love" them (another way to "fix" someone) is not going to change his past and his story.


I am fine being broken. I have been broken and have glued myself with crazy glue.  Hold me up to that light, and I will prove to you, how well Natalie shines, and there is no need to fix it.