Coffee... No Sugar

Summing up on what the pastor said at church : 

I am the type of person who wants to know if the girl I am going on a date with is going to be my wife. I am weird and want to know. So the one way I find out if she is the one or not is I take her to starbucks. I give the lady behind the cash register my order: Latte, skim milk, no whip, double cup. I like to have all the checks marked on the cup so I feel significant. Then I step aside and let Jess (his wife) order. She ordered water. The next time we went she ordered hot chocolate, then hot chocolate with coffee. Next time, coffee with 17 sugar packets, and then coffee with one splenda packet. When she asked me to go to starbucks and asked me to get her a venti black coffee I praised the heavens. But then I realized that she hadn't had coffee on her radar at all. But she loved me and she knew that I loved coffee.  When you love someone you are interested in, you want to be interested in what they are too. So I started getting interested and caring about what she was interested in. I went to Bed Bath and Beyond, which I had thought was just a hotel, and cared about what she was interested in, even craft night. (He later went on tying this into the sermon of mission work).

Even though this was based on something else, this exactly the kind of relationship I need to be having with God. Working on a relationship with a guy isn't going to work if I dont have a relationship with God. Its been about me the entire time. I turn to the Bible when I need help. I pray when I need a solution to a problem. I have never even thought about what God needs. He needs me to talk to him, to follow his word. I need to put God on my radar and go more towards him instead of following my own "compass".

Maybe this is why my relationships haven't worked and they wont until I put my focus on God who truly loves my every fault, which to him, he designed for a purpose. So the question is how do I? How do I stop making excuses on why I can't or wont, and lean on him? Why dont I learn about him like he knows me inside out and fall in love with him? How do I chose to give up my life when I am not positive that he is there? I know I have so much to learn. I look forward to the day where I am content with being alone on earth but knowing I have God right by my side and I am totally okay with that.