Swimming.

Can you see me? I am the one that's pink, black eyes, swimming north and have fins. 

Thought so.

What if I tell you about me: Fun, sometimes scared, insecure but beautiful.

Thought so.

I feel like this picture. Swimming along with all the other 'fish' and wanting to stand out. Somehow. How do you stand out when you are just like everyone else. Go to work like everyone else. Pass people on the highway doing the same thing, living life. Is that enough for people?

not me

I am tired of living life in order just to get by. Tired of living pay check to pay check, trying to make ends meet. I know this is a sappy story and everyone has to get their adult underpants on and grow up, but this isn't what I had expected. Aren't you supposed to be freaking jumping for joy when you grow up, move out, make rent and be able to not eat hot dogs and ramen all the dang time? 

I am ready to change the freaking world. I know I am changing lives, even though I may not be able to see it right away. I was able to have kids trust me after their whole existence was abuse/neglect. I had a child say he loves me, and I melted. HUGE. But I want more. If I wasn't so attached to my dogs, and mother, oh and had some money, I would travel. I want to know in my heart that I was made to change lives and places and I want to see it in action. 

So how do I get there? How do I find money, and a way to keep my dogs and mother and still change the world? No freaking clue how, but I will stand out, you WILL be able to tell me apart from the picture above. Maybe I wont be swimming ahead, maybe I may lag, but shit, I will shine and sparkle. Watch me.