I can't sleep but I will take my chances...

"How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will you turn to me?
 
One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?


So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name


Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart. "


I want to be close to him, I want to feel his face, I want to know that if I have no one I have him, I am stubborn, selfish and insecure, and wont let myself let him do the work. How does one let go and let God? I am ready for that so I can have everlasting love, so I know that love is real and lasts forever. I see him everyday, asking me, whispering to me, 'come closer to me' and yet I am determined to live my life my way thinking I have gotten through my past by myself so why not continue? Yet I continue to fall, stumble over little rocks that I could easily walk over if he was holding my hand. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, because I am ready for you to hold my heart <3