I am waiting for my ambien to settle in. Worked last night. I feel like I do my job quite well yet sometimes I feel like I dont. I have a person saying well so and so, and deep down you know they are a total bitch and no one even likes them, but it still sinks in that maybe you need to fix something. Especially when you try and fix something and make it better and then realize that the problem you were trying to fix comes back.
ANWAY, enough of my moaning and complaining. I am not sure what to write about today. I miss a certain someone that smells and he might hate me saying this but homemade applesauce haha. He has this air freshner all over his house that is apple and cinnamon and so of course it smells like applesauce to me. And I love it. It makes me want to get chunky applesauce and put it in the microwave like my grandma does while making summer dinners. mMm. Its a comforting smell that I just can't get enough of.
He is really sweet, and comes over all the time, even when he has work. I am such a you-know-what for never going over there. I wish I didn't like sleep so much. Its so hard working with draining kids all night and then knowing you have to do it all over again. If I dont sleep, I dont function, and its hard for me to sleep with someone right next to me (because I never have gotten used to it with anyone, let alone my dogs). I was rushed to get out because, sleep is so important, and I told a kid I would play JENGA before I left, so I rushed in there saying okay lets play and he said
Natalie I dont like to rush while playing a game, can you calm down and take 3 deep breaths with me and play? Just calm down old grannyWHOA, from a nine year old? So I sat there dumbfounded as I took three deep breaths. I realized that I am so in go mode that I dont take the time to really enjoy my time, especially with a kid that needs just that, my time.
So boyfriend, I am going to make time for you, even if I am busy and rushing. You deserve that and I hope you know that. xoxo
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