Keeping True to YOU

Have you ever just had a shitty couple days where you swear that if you had enough money you would hop on the first plane to somewhere and never return, or until the people/situation left or decided to leave you alone? Yep, that was so me this weekend. If this weekend, one of my only free weekends I have had in months, had to be horrible, the weekend gods had to chose this one.

I am not really going into details because not only would that make me stoop down to their level, but what's the point of really living each day that sucked over and over? I will admit I let those kind of things get me down over and over, but I am just trying to let it slide and move the (excuse my language) fuck over it. I have been told, pick the things out of the advice that were told to you that will help you grow, and let the rest slide away. I re-read "advice" that was truly bitchy and mean to me and tried to get over the mean side and see if what was said true, any part of it. Yes some was true. I ditched a lot in high-school because I had a boyfriend that I wasn't allowed to see, so if I had the time I saw him. I shouldn't have ditched friends over a boy, but I did, and that was the past, and I have really grown and do put my friends before guys now. Knowing that it did hurt her feelings that she felt I didn't put enough time into her, made me realize that her needs weren't being met. Mine weren't either though, and even though you do need to meet other's needs, yours should be more important. Ending the 'friendship' was her need, and even though it may have been childish in my view, it was her need that she needed to meet, and I need to be okay with that.

I have found that no matter how much it hurts other people, you will hurt yourself more if you dont satisfy your need of happiness. I have seen it effect more people then I would like to tell. In boarding school and much of highschool I tried to please everyone. In boarding school this girl basically told me she hated me because I was so much of a goody-two-shoes and pleased everyone. Of course the pleaser in me started bawling and finally realized I took other people's happiness over mine. It took a good while, and I am finding now that I have lost a lot of people because I tried to meet every whim and need, but I have gained many friends and true one's that respect and challenge me. I am not saying that I shouldn't be respectful and flexible and say "no bitch I ain't doing it because I dont want to" but if its something that is really swaying me not to do, that I shouldn't feel bad for saying "sorry I dont think so". So hopefully my next weekend off, I wont feel the need to fly off to anywhere. But if I do get a free ticket I wont be giving it up :))