I could write about a boy, my friends that I am annoyed with, or something of the sort, but isn't that for my diary? I want a blog that people enjoy reading. Whether it is a quote, picture or something that the person can say, 'yeah I totally hear you'. I got a comment from a reader that said she loves reading my blog. UM thank you. Probably one of the best things I have heard. It feels good that someone out there actually enjoys reading my crazy mind.
So I am searching for the happiness that some people around me, I feel have. I know that everybody struggles with their own issues, but I have seen some people that always look on the bright side. Hello, can I please have just 1/16th of what you have? I complain about everything. I could complain about anything and everything. Dont believe me? Test me. I feel that people do complain. I have sat with friends for lunch, on the phone, or even in person, and it is all about what she said, or this guy is totally being a douche and blah blah blah. I get annoyed, but then I catch myself over and over again, complaining.
"Oh my god, he hasn't texted me back, its been FIVE minutes"
" She is such a bitch"
"I have to work another FREAKING overnight, I never get a break"
"I was so wanting to get laid, but nooo, mother nature just had to come say hi"
You understand how it goes. So how do I start being positive when I am so used to complaining? I dont know. People say to say nice things when you want to say mean things. Do people know who I am? If you are going to tell me that at least ____ <--- and give me something optimistic, I will want to throw a huge knuckle sandwich your way. I know the sky can be blue sometimes if I look hard enough, but really? Try saying that to someone when a hurricane and tornado are wanting to hit natalie central will not make a little blue sky appear out of no where!
Maybe I should go on something. I am already so messed up with sleeping pills and caffeine pills, why not add a little sunshine in the mix? My mom suggested I take some of my brothers anxiety pills. haha. Oh the joys of sharing prescription meds :) But seriously, maybe I could, but back in the day I dont feel people took things. I believe they probably smoked a ton of weed and everyone was chill and relaxed. But I can't do that either, not that I even have the desire, because everyone knows or has heard that when you smoke, you eat, and my butt doesn't need to gain a size.
But I am who I am. I got a family, that despite how many times they want to kill me, loves me everyday. My mom lets me bitch to her on a regular basis. My roommate and best friend moved in with me, so that means that I am liveable to be around, and that either she is now immune to it, or she is the best ever, (I will go with the later). So honestly, all I can do is work on getting happy. As they say (and good thing I am in the optimistic quote mood):
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