I am struggling, even though I shouldn't be. I have a wonderful family, boyfriend, a job, awesome pets, and a great apartment, yet I still feel kind of empty. I guess after writing this it makes me feel even stupider that I am feeling what I am feeling.
Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you try to tell your point of view, try to make the other person understand the way you feel, it never seems to get across?
I had a stupid fight, which was mostly in part because of stupid things, but the outcome was the hardest part to come. The person said that she couldn't see me as her friend anymore. I couldn't believe that someone could say that especially when the previous day it was 'your my best friend' and 'I love you' were said. I have never been the one to walk up and leave, my heart loves to much. I strove to get my friend back after all the lies and mean things that were said. I couldn't walk away after everything that had happened. She was the biggest part of me and we were like sisters and I finally had gotten her back only to be afraid of losing her again. Every since becoming friend I haven't been able to trust. She made countless people turn away from me and she even said she hated me. I have to watch what I say because the fight that had happened is what made me not want to say anything in the first place.
So how do we go back? There is no turning back, only growing, and I am not sure if either of us are ready to let go of the past and move on. We are both stubborn and both take everything to heart. I wish there was a way to make everything be ok.
I know that being a lover, friend, sister, or anything of the sorts takes work. "I've always known who I am. I might not work perfectly, or be like them, but that's okay. I know I work in my own way". I just hope and pray that I can be humble enough to know when I am wrong, and know when it is time to let go and just love.
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