Crush Whore...

I had a journal growing up starting in middle school. It was lime green and had a cartoon girl on the front with probably saying "KEEP OUT." I used this a bit through high-school as well, but the only documentation in the journal was one of three things, if:

1) I liked a boy
2) I hated a girl
3) or hated my parents

When I looked back it seemed that I was always skipping between boys. I even remember an entry saying I couldn't decide which boy I wanted to like. Reading it, I remember being disgusted thinking what a "crush whore." I could go back and recall every moment I wrote about, and at the time I felt I was just being normal ol me and that every crush made sense. But having the only entries I wrote about being about boys was hard to see the in-between moments and the boy "hardships."

I sometimes read through my blog entries these days looking for inspiration or out of pure boredom. I keep reading entries of how a boy (though I never mention names) makes my heart skip and blah blah. As he quickly come in, he just as quick takes off into the distance, as another one knocks at my door. Reading these entries I got the same feeling as I did while reading a journal entry as a naive girl. CRUSH WHORE. I feel somewhere between 10 and 24 I would have noticed my trend or have learned about the men I gravitate towards. Yet I still write about the different boys whom I could "see a future" with.

And this evening another boy will come, whether or not he graces the rest of my blog entries or just a few who knows. The in-betweens aren't long, should be longer possibly. But like my mom says, "You have to kiss a few (in my case a lot) of toads to find a prince." And one day I will find the lucky guy that will take away the in-betweens, and make my "crush" turn into the Forever every girl dreams about.