Darkness was nothing new. Wherever you look there was cold, dreary loneliness. The rain sliding down the cold windowpane. The heart ached for a glimpse of sunlight, something to grasp, but no shadow shown. The heart felt as if a weight of a brick, with spikes of failure lay resting on it, and nothing you could do could lift it. The cold left goose bumps, the ache, an echo. Pain was getting normal, like the clock on the wall, tick tock, tick tock. Routine stayed the same, day after day. No need for expression, smile, or laughter. They say the best thing is falling down and getting back up, but the view from down below looks pretty swell. Tearing at the seam, ripping it so you’re not the only thing falling apart. Nothing lasts forever says the girl with a broken heart. Running seemed to help, as if you were fleeing from lies, tears, mishaps, disappointment. But you can’t run forever, and somehow all those things you fled from still comes sneaking back in when you lease expect it.
I step at the edge of the water; the waves crash upon my toes. The crisp water makes me feel alive but just as I feel alive, I get used to the temperature, the icy liquid beginning to numb my toes. I go further, sensing the frozen water again. Like a pattern I keep searching, keep reaching for something to be aware of, to know I am still alive, still breathing. Feeling weightless among the water, floating, moving with the current, finally feeling in tune with something.
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