Cat is an Annoying Child

My cat is like an annoying child. Let me state the reasons:

He may look innocent but this cat is showing the cute face

1) I was almost about to pass out in dream land when he jumps, ON MY FACE.
2) He has discovered that "crying" and running into the door (yes you hear the thud) may get me to open it
3) Lilly, my little dog enjoys sitting on my lap, or just touching me, but when the cat is in the room the dog, like a disorder,  Lilly jumps off the bed and attacks cookie, and then returns to sit on my lap. This process goes on until I have to kick the cat out.
4) Knocks over glasses with any liquid in it
5) Eats flowers that I receive (I believe its jealousy)
6) The cat started to recognize that he can knock over the water dispenser dish for the dogs. After coming home time after time with puddles I bought a plastic bowl. Well he has now discovered that when he is done drinking out of the DOGS bowl (the cat has his own water dish, but prefers the one with dog drool in it) he attempts to bury the bowl by pawing at it. He somehow manages to get the mat underneath it soaking every time I come home.
7) He is at the door right now, meowing, shaking the door handle. Thank goodness he doesn't know how to open it or I would have more problems.