Hell on Heels

I love the way high heels look. I like the way they make my legs look. I don't like the way they make me look like a penguin as I walk, or the way they make me look 3 times more drunk while spending the night on the town. I also envy the way models walk down the runways in high heels and don't fall or give the ridiculous face that I give (prime example of knoxville)

Though I have yet to fall I have come quite close numerous times. Downtown Austin is NOT made for high-heels and especially girls that 1) can't walk normally in general 2) or walk while drunk. I trip over crap daily without the help of killer footwear putting me on tiny stilts 4 inches in the air. So while wearing heels I usually do one of the two: drink more until I just can't feel my feet, or take them off and get feet that look like this by the end of the night:

Either way it isn't pretty. Yet every time I go into a store or getting ready to go downtown, I put on those dang heels of hell. One day I will fall flat on my face, humiliate myself and hopefully learn my lesson. I am not going to be lady gaga and certainly won't dress like her especially when it comes to her sense of "style" but I will still wear shoes because somewhere I have to live up to the famous words "fashion is pain". I don't do it well, trust me, but dang it is nice to have some sexy legs that go on forever, and calves that look toned.

So bring it on Darwin. Natural selection has yet to hit me.